Ok, where have I been? Training new Stephen Ministers has pushed me to study and read for hours and rethink material I have used previously, but make new and exciting for this great class of eager learners. I am so impressed about all the enthusiasm and boldness and honesty that I am seeing. And the sharing is forcing all of us to be transparent and honest with our feelings with people we are just beginning to know.
A feeling of trepidation has surfaced within me; all the insecurities I have felt about my ability to train someone to do "anything" becomes so strong when I am teaching a group that probably could teach the material much better thanI. Hopefully, God's tugging me to trust him in a way I have never experienced before through this class. This year has forced me to see the "real" me again, and I cope with not really liking what I see reflected in the mirror. Communion was Sunday nite after an intense prayer time, walking around the building and focusing on notes posted all over in strategic places of ministry. Not really sensing any connection with God at that point, I wondered in my mind if I was deserving of communion. Were you all taught if your heart isn't "right", you shouldn't partake????? Is our heart ever "right"? What is right? Isn't a relationship with God deserving of connecting with Him through communion? How do we draw closer? If myrelationship needs to be always "right", then I guess I wonder if I ever would be deserving.
Sorry for all this babbling...see what happens when I blog after the moon rises. Bad idea...I need to do this earlier. But don't be surprised to see me blogging at 3am either.
A lighter note, Erin and Tom's wedding was fun, fun, fun!!! They are truly a couple in love..awww...really, or they fake really well!!! Seriously, but not too seriously, we were honored to be a part of their wedding. Me just the observant, proud aunt, and Steve as the "wedding singer". He loved singing in the Catholic cathedral...the sound was awesome, he said it actually made him sound good. Now as far as his dancing ability...well.......
Celebrating my aunt's 98th birthday this Saturday. Who would have ever thought? Hope she remembers at least a few of us. Ha! Good report, tho', she's walking more and being her feisty self, so things are looking up.
A feeling of trepidation has surfaced within me; all the insecurities I have felt about my ability to train someone to do "anything" becomes so strong when I am teaching a group that probably could teach the material much better thanI. Hopefully, God's tugging me to trust him in a way I have never experienced before through this class. This year has forced me to see the "real" me again, and I cope with not really liking what I see reflected in the mirror. Communion was Sunday nite after an intense prayer time, walking around the building and focusing on notes posted all over in strategic places of ministry. Not really sensing any connection with God at that point, I wondered in my mind if I was deserving of communion. Were you all taught if your heart isn't "right", you shouldn't partake????? Is our heart ever "right"? What is right? Isn't a relationship with God deserving of connecting with Him through communion? How do we draw closer? If myrelationship needs to be always "right", then I guess I wonder if I ever would be deserving.
Sorry for all this babbling...see what happens when I blog after the moon rises. Bad idea...I need to do this earlier. But don't be surprised to see me blogging at 3am either.
A lighter note, Erin and Tom's wedding was fun, fun, fun!!! They are truly a couple in love..awww...really, or they fake really well!!! Seriously, but not too seriously, we were honored to be a part of their wedding. Me just the observant, proud aunt, and Steve as the "wedding singer". He loved singing in the Catholic cathedral...the sound was awesome, he said it actually made him sound good. Now as far as his dancing ability...well.......
Celebrating my aunt's 98th birthday this Saturday. Who would have ever thought? Hope she remembers at least a few of us. Ha! Good report, tho', she's walking more and being her feisty self, so things are looking up.
posted by cool rita at 8:34 PM
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